My two lovely girls:

How my heart aches as I write this letter to you. The tears flow so freely that it is difficult to see the letters on the keyboard. But I know I must go on. I’m determined to construct this web site, this living memorial, to honor the two of you. I’m determined to heal and guide our family to healing. And I’m determined to share our story with others so that they might heal. Somehow, deep inside, I know this web site can do all of that.

Generally, I do not write many letters or cards. Lately, I’ve had no desire to talk on the telephone. But since the tragedy, I’ve been genuinely touched and inspired by the cards and letters sent from family and friends, by the heartfelt love and concern expressed from all of them. Discovering how so many truly care about our family moved Josh, Brody, and me to want to keep others up-to-date on our lives. So, the idea of the web site was born.

Cindy, our twenty years together were the greatest of my life. The good Lord blessed me with the best imaginable partner, a beautiful wife with an inner beauty that shined like the brightest star. Chelsea, I thanked God every day for my sweet little daughter, my true princess with a loving personality so much like her mother’s. You were the absolute sunshine on the gloomiest, cloudiest of days.

When I think of this past year, I think of a roller coaster because our emotions have spiked and plummeted countless times. The holidays have made it worse. Christmas, birthdays, our wedding anniversary, and all the special days that meant so much to us as a family feel empty or lonely or just like any other day now.

But I know we must press on. I know we must move forward even though it’s so hard to do. So many times, my mind wanders, and I find myself missing both of you so much. So many times, I wish that this was just a bad dream, and that I would wake up. So many times, I feel myself living in the past, and I must call myself back to the present.

Reason can’t explain why two very vibrant, loving, caring people who were so full of life, had to leave this earth so soon. Only God knows why we have to endure this tragedy -- what the purpose of all of this is. I wish He would tell me.

Still, God’s grace has given me the strength to get this far and, I believe His grace will help me continue. I’ve learned that the only escape is to keep myself so busy, so distracted, that my mind can’t wander, not even for a moment, toward the harsh reality of this tragedy, the tragedy that claimed your precious lives. The only comfort available is the wonderful memories we shared as husband and wife and as parents to our daughter.

I miss you both. I love you both. And I know that God's Word is true. So one day, we will be together again as a family in a glorious place, forever.